No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
