Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
