I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
