Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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