How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
