Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
