I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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