You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
