Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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