At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
