that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
