we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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