I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
