Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
