heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
