I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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