That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he puts the penis in happiness.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
