Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
