When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
