I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
