wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
