Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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