Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You pole danced in your parka.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
