I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
