i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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