It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
