All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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