So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
