listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
