Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she smelled like a LAN party
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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