He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
