no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
