And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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