why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
