So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
