only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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