The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
