He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's never too late to be topless.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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