I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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