I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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