i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
