The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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