Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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