I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I look better un-naked...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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