I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
