we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She told me I should be a condom model.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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