well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
