I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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