Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So much Jack, so little girl.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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