its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
