It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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