Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we made out on top of his cat.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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